Life and Beyond

सन्धर्भ माया को, माया सब्द सुन्न साथ नै हामी माया मा डुब्न तल्लिन हुन्छम।  सायद सब्द नै त्यतै होला जसले बार बार आफु तिर हामीलाई तानी रहेको हुन्छ। यो दुइ अच्छेर ले बनेको सब्द को  मूल्य सायद हामी मद्धे कमै ले मात्र बुझेका छौ होला। यो सब्द पटक पटक प्रगोग मा आउछ र हामी यो सबलाई पटक पटक बदनाम पनि गरि रहेका हुन्छम । तर माया भनेको क हो ? के त्यो बदनाम भएरहेको सब्द नै माया हो ? सायद माया सब्द सुन्न साथ हामी मद्धे  धेरै को मानसपटल मा आफ्नो आमा ,बुवा, परिवार, साथी र आफ्नो प्रेमी को चित्र कोरियो होला। तर चित्र कोरियो भन्दै  मा त्यो माया नै हो ? माया के हो?  के त्यो कहिले कसैले बुझेको छ ?  सबै को लागि माया को परिभासा बेग्लै हुन्छ। कतिले साथ लै माया को परिभासा मा समाबेश गर्छन भने कति ले आफ्नो पन लै।  तर दुवै जना को माया को अन्तिम अर्थ भने एउतै नै हो। प्रेमी संग चद्दिक आवास पनि माया हो र आमा ले हानेको दुइ लौरो पनि माया नै हो।  घर मा दादा ले बेला बेला किच किच गर्नु पनि माया नै हो र , साथी ले ठट्टा गर्नु पनि माया नै हो। आमा को निस्वार्थ पन पनि माया नै हो र बुवा को बलिदान पनि माया नै हो। माया को संदर्व

  THE VOICE OF ALL NITYAS OUT THERE !!   The human Dairy, Writing is not definitely my cup of tea. Might sound like an irony when I say so, as I usually write a lot. But writing a dairy and letting my heart out are ways apart to me. Still might be pathetic to say, but writing a diary and writing something my heart out are somehow similar. But the crave for a friend when you badly need one is different. The crave for the understanding is different. The crave for feeling myself at times is different. I am definitely a master of doing all the shitty businesses. But still has no shame and blames her vehemence time and again. That’s exactly how we all are. Feels tiring, but I don’t really wish to do so. But I still do that. If you ask me why? I don’t know. But the fear of being alone definitely sucks. Do I feel guilty about doing the things i have done so far? Yes, I definitely do. But Do I regret it as much as I should? Not, really. I would have regretted it if it was intention

To all the boys i have loved before Just like lara Jeans in the movie, I fell in love with you. Not once , not twice but every single time see you. You are not just the boy i had loved before You are the boy i will be loving my entire life May be it's just a lie As I have been telling this,  to all the boys i have loved before The Lara Jeans in me, Is what that drags me away from you very single time. I ran away, showed you every thing that i was not Still got Peter like acceptance to a Lara Jeans like me. The clumsy one, The insecure one. But it's it obvious of me to be little insecure than yesterday. Cause i surely dont want to state you as, To all the boys I have loved before. The profane is the demon that distorts my tranquility What I propel and what I profane is exactly the opposite. And you exactly know what it is. Nothing to clarify and make you believe. With a relief and the believe that you are not the boys i have loved before The strom in me gets litter calmer than y

What Heart Wants Betimes to say it, but feels right. Might be an impromptu move, but impulsively i get into that cocoon. That's what heart wants The alarming signs, my repressiveness, me brick batting over and again, could not really stop .  Because that's what heart wants. it surely gets into my nerves, when a heed like me has to deal, the shut one eye . that's definitely not, What heart wants. Marshalling the things out, should be the go to move, that's what heart wants. the nudges, to a stress ball like me, the incitement, to cast down like me, a true-blue, to a duplicitous like me, That's what heart wants!! 

The vehemence within me tends to be so high that is can barely control it. Definitely not a thing to be proud of. But the only thing that comes to my mind when i try controlling my emotions is, Will i still be "Nitya" ? The fanatic who gets hell excited after seeing clouds above her head. Do you expect her not to react to something that's so huge to her ? Do you expect her stay calm and composed every single time. It's not just the Nitya but it's even you who can not stay the same every single time. Situation changes and we to react to it accordingly. And everyone's reaction differs , that's how we all are !! That's how adoptive we are and should be too. Man without emotions is a wild beast loosed upon in this world. If i or you don't show up our emotions what's the difference between me and the human made machines ? Am i still supposed to control what i feel like ? Am i still supposed to not cry ? Being strong and not being a vehemence are pol

  Crime and Criminal psychology is something that captures attention of several us. The so called bikini killer, was he just a killer? Charles Sobhraj, born to a Vietnamese woman and a Sindhi man was abounded by his father after being born in April 1944 at Vietnam. He was still stateless until his mother’s boyfriend adopted him. Then after couple of years, in 1953 he and his mother along with her boyfriend, a French lieutenant moved to France. Sobhraj so hated Europe and the catholic School where he was enrolled in. The only memorial from the school was his name “Charles”, just because of his clever impersonation the comedian. The butt of racial jokes and insults during the school days turned out to be a criminal at the age of 19 when he was first sentenced to the jail. The charmer manipulated the jailors who granted with special favors during his sentence. And then the con man was born. With several frauds and burglaries he was having a very exciting life. During that period he me

My day starts with an orison, "just do what is meant for me". But what actually is meant for me ?   Good attracts good they say, But am i that ghastly!! Disguised by his aura, but still holds on her clairvoyance. implies more more than she should have. but is it what it's meant for me ? to my dismay, i have always been said, "You have been to more more than your age". "god's child', is what i always retort to them.  after the denounement of the fear,  fear of ceasing at the same place the run again puts a stop, when i do my utmost. but, Is it what it's meant for me ? Might be,  because i am god's child.!!

DISCLAIMER:IT'S JUST AN ARTICLE. IT MIGHT BE RELEVANT TO MANY. HAPPY READING. The statement made by an adult to a teenager who was barely 14-15 years old at that time, did hunt her for some years. Adult : "Tmro ghar kata ho?" Teenager :"Ktm"  Adult: "saxxai hora?, teii pani esto kaali ?"   The born and brought-up in Kathmandu was stereotyped being ugly just because she has dusky complexion. Adding to it one of her friend said, “Why didn’t you say that you are from Dharan.".    The very turmoil had started back then.   Not just that teenager, but many of us must have been stereotyped by some man-made beauty standards. At least i had been, i still am actually. I used to get affected by it, but no more. Some very common lines most of us must have been through are "ramri nai xe,tara ali kali ho","Ali goro vayeko vaye kati ramri hunthi"," Kali Kali hissi pareki xe". Why is ramri being synonym to not bei

vibes so high, that the magic within this missy unfolds in an unapologetic way. This quarantine vibe hitting me so hard that i can barely stop thinking about him. Wait Did i just say"Quaratine Vibe" This is my lifestyle actually. Am i pretending being in love ? Obviously no!! We are just "good Friends" Or Just friends may be, The normal day starts with a thought, "he must be sleeping" or actually with the Good moring call of his. And the normal night ends with a thought, " he must has falllen asleep" Or  actually with a frisky goodnight text to him. This imperious demands, The heeded warnings, Inane conversartion, Attentiveness for who i am, Is what this missy hankers for Still we are just "good Friends" Or Just friends may be, But this missy's vibes are hitting hard.

I wish for amnesia, But the demon deep inside Distorts my tranquility  The stillness that i think of  Is just confined  Confined in the dementic state That ruffled past A year long intidimation That year it was  Indispensable for me Someone's gratification   And dead duck to him Distant i had been  Selfest i have become And Often i am asked Why are you so self obessed?

It bothers me quite often, It saddens me a bit, Acutally alot. But why is it so. Am i insecure about myself or is it just the way it is. Do i need to think about it often, do i need to bother about what if is what that comes to my mind Am i just a silly shit. Do i think alot, and grave a coffin of it Attention seeker is what i am said often but does it bothers me a bit. or is it just me who thinks it this way and bothers me a bit. But sure it bothers even you a bit.

If only, I could be the CHILD to my parents. If only , I could be the FRIEND to my friend. If only, I could be the ONE, everyother wants me to be. Wait!!!! If only , I could just be myself and do the thing that I need to. If only , I could be the voice that I need to. If only , I could be me whenever I need to. If only , the world accepted me the way I ought to.

Ethical Lapses are undermining public trust not only in the institution, their leaders and the people long held to a higher standard of behavior in the corporate world and political arenas, but also the trust that builds up the entire nation.   Ethical quotient in a simple word is the rule, regulation or the guideline to be followed.  The term ethics itself covers up the entire concept of conduct, clarity, confidentiality, fairness and professionalism and the fundamental principle of Auditing revolves around the code of ethics. The proper conduct of Ethical quotient can definitely lead to professional excellence which could mold the profession to a beautiful shape.  What does professional excellence actually mean? As stated by Alan P Rossiter, the aspects of professional excellence are:  Produce High quality technical work  Communicate your work clearly   Keep a schedule  Recognize your professional limits  Invest in furthering the profession  Affirm your coworkers  Enjoy

"hello", the FB message pooped.  The conversation between two friends started.  Conversation So Deep ,So Strong. With the phase of time,  Just Friends turned to Best-friends. That small gestures were sweet to her.  He loved the way she smiled.  College canteen was the perfect date spot,  Love blossomed beautifully.  With the phase of time,  Best-friends turned to Admirers  Daily chit-chat,  Good Morning,Good Night messages  And daily hangout wasn't enough to them, That late night conversation. With the phase of time, Admirers turned to Flirts  That sister like care,  Brother like love, Father like guidance, Mother like sacrifice, Was all they ever dreamed of With the phase of time,  Flirts turned to Lovers  No love is never so easy  And they knew it, But so were they.  Daily struggles,  Attention problem,Ego problem  With the phase of time,  Lovers turned to Exes  Two broken hearts, One always ready to give .  Small conversation star

Mistake was  when,  When I  first met you Mistake was when,  When I started believing that I was your  calibre. Mistake was when, When I chose you over myself. Mistake was when , When you broke my trust. Mistake was when When I still forgived you . Mistake was when, When I believed you will be true. Mistake was when, When I believed you will be back . Mistake is what,  I have been today.

 I smile , I smile very often The shivering voice within me asked, "Do I really smile? " I smiled back and replied yes I  do.  Knock knock, the sadness knocked  I tried to ignore it.  Knock knock "let me in ",it yelled.  Still I smiled.  I did everything to save myself.  Hid myself, locked every possible entry, stayed inside the room . Finally saved myself.  Mission accomplished.   I smiled.  My crooked smile was convincing enough to the world. With every, everyone's eye candy.  And I smiled.  The tsunami inside made me laugh more loud.   Haha. ..haha.... It was loud clear. I smiled.   "Beautiful smile you got" ,he said. I smiled back.    

I am daughter to my parents , sister to my siblings and cousins . I am colleague to my coworkers and mate to my friends . But who am I actually ? The simplest answer to this question is I am no one. I am no one who is trying to please everyone .   I am no one who is trying to be the best daughter and forgetting rest of the relationships. I am no one who is trying so hard to please my boss. I am no one who is an attention seeker , asking attention from possibly everyone. The question here is why I aren't me . Why not me, who is just me, full of myself doing this to please myself. Why cant I be selfish    (if loving own self is called being selfish) and think about only myself. Have I forgotten my own identity while trying to be something I aren't. Of course I am a daughter,colleague,mate,partner and every possible relation here but is it necessary to be the perfect one? Just by pleasing them ? Its next to impossible . You can never feed your own soul to the fullest, how will you

For the 5 ingredient sandwich,  all we need is : Patties: The sexy girls around, so called bombshells. Wanna be sexy actually . Mayo : The "Makhan" type , huge dilemma where do they actually belong to .  Bun : The actual hero who covers up everything. Why do u need to cover-up every thing ?? Is that your supernatural power ?  Cheese : The emotional type ,who gets melted after heating them. Very easy to manipulate. Sauce: The manipulative one, looks really good, are tangy enough to make you cringe.         Lets get started, first of all to cover up everything take the bun and cut in into two. Two because its going to be used to cover-up the entire mess we are going to make. Secondly add some tanginess ,The sauce, then put the patties to fire it ,for some spices ,taste. They must come after some tanginess otherwise our mess will not look good. Cover it will the cheese.( I want to cry ,I really want to. this is something I cant stand.)  Then add mayo, as its st

Yes !! you, I am talking about you beautiful people out there. do you slay every time! I don't know about you but I of course do . 1. Self obsessed they say, is it that bad loving your self too much? , at least you will not get hurt at the end of the day. 2. Dreamy !! yes I am. I get tangled in my own thoughts and end up being sad or superrrrr excited 3. P assionate , yes yes yes I am, very passionate about everything I do. I love what I do . 4. S arcastic?? may be may be not, I speak truth or what I feel like. 5. Racist ?? not really, being racist is fun if its more like sarcasm.( being happy or for a good laugh) 6. Confident ? I tend to be over confidence at times and ruin the situation but the best part about being confident is, even though you mess up with the situation  you learn new things and tackle with absurd situation. that's something really good  I guess . 7. C urios ?? yes I am . I ask a lot of question . most of all are absurd, though I

Watching savdhan India or crime patrol,  we get  suspicious even when we are  with our own brothers, sisters, our own family. Can a wife actually kill her husband?  Can a daughter be raped by her father or brother?  Can a mother actually sell her daughter to a prostitution?  Such questions surely comes to our mind when me watch crime thrillers .                          Crime is not only being tortured by someone or doing some unlawful act. Crime is not always physical torture or murder or any offensive actions. Crime is not being able to stand for our rights , for the justice we are seeking for. Criminals are the not people who commit crime but are the one who bear the pains. Criminals are we people who are stuck in their lives. Criminal  is the person the victim who doesn't take a stand for their right.                   Yes I am a criminal. Yes I have been victimized not once not twice but many times.  I have been victimized by my own deeds.  My fault of not being able to ex

Hope that a student pass his upcoming exam, hope that a son gets promoted, hope that his angry girlfriend gets pleased,hope that a beggar gets food to eat, hope that a child will not get scolded . The world itself survives with a hope that it will sustain more ages happily.            Martin Luther king JR. had once said he had a hope that civil right movement will come to an end and blacks will get their life back. Similarly every person here have some hopes, some mission in their life. everyone is born, or at least i can say are growing with a plan, mission. Hope is something that makes  us more determined ,more confident and gives us some pathway. Boasting around i will do this i will do that doesn't guarantee your success. Actually success is never guaranteed nor its permanent . The one who is successful today may not be tomorrow. Everything then lies within eternal happiness. How satisfies are you  rather that measuring your success with the materialistic goods you own,